Shame vs. Desire: The Things We Won’t Admit to Ourselves

Shame is just desire with the lights turned on.

The moment you feel shame is the moment you catch yourself wanting—wanting love, wanting approval, wanting to be held, wanting to be chosen. And because we were taught to want less, to need less, we translate the ache into guilt.

We tell ourselves: I shouldn’t want this. I shouldn’t feel this. I shouldn’t need anyone. Shame keeps us obedient. It keeps us silent. But desire doesn’t die just because we won’t name it. It festers, waits, slips out in ways we can’t control.

If you can name your shame, you can start to see what you really want. And that’s when you begin to live.