There was a brief moment that I was obsessed with creative non-fiction. I love the idea of making up something and just go so full tilt that you pretend that it is real. Love it. So I started drafting the Heirarchy of Hobos. It is entirely made up but I have started to create a whole world for them. Also, please note all of the footnotes are fake books. I just like it to sound like I'm writing about real history.
In the autumn of 1862, as the great iron serpents began their inexorable march across the American continent, a remarkable phenomenon occurred that would forever change the nature of human migration. What railroad historians have long dismissed as mere "vagrant activity" was, in fact, the birth of the most sophisticated nomadic civilization since the ancient Mongols.¹
The first documented case of what scholars now recognize as "transcendental rail consciousness" occurred to one Jeremiah "Jumping Jack" McGillicuddy, a former telegraph operator who had lost his position due to what his supervisors called "excessive enthusiasm for dots and dashes."² McGillicuddy, while attempting to board a westbound freight train outside of Chicago, experienced what he later described as "a great awakening of the soul through synchronized locomotion."
According to the Chronicle of Sacred Journeys (recovered from a perfectly preserved bindle discovered in Utah in 1923), McGillicuddy's revelation came in three distinct phases:³
Phase One: The Rhythmic Enlightenment
The steady clickety-clack of wheels on tracks induced what early hobo philosophers termed "meditative momentum." Unlike the jarring unpredictability of horseback or wagon travel, the train's mechanical rhythm created a hypnotic state that allowed the mind to wander vast distances while the body remained comfortably stationary.
Phase Two: The Democratic Revelation
McGillicuddy observed that the train, unlike any other form of transportation, treated all passengers—paying or otherwise—to the exact same view, the same speed, and the same destination. This egalitarian aspect of rail travel would later form the philosophical foundation of hobo society's remarkably flat social structure.⁴
Phase Three: The Infinite Possibility Epiphany
Most profoundly, McGillicuddy realized that every train station represented not an ending, but a new beginning. The interconnected web of rails meant that a single journey could, theoretically, extend indefinitely. This concept of "eternal transit" became the spiritual cornerstone of hobo culture.
Word of McGillicuddy's experience spread through the underground network of displaced workers, failed prospectors, and wandering philosophers that populated the post-Civil War landscape. By 1863, a small but dedicated group of "rail pilgrims" had begun to gather around him.
Among these early adherents were several figures who would later achieve legendary status:
"Boxcar" Betty Finnegan: A former seamstress who discovered she could mend anything using only materials found in freight cars
Timothy "Two-Whistle" Thompson: A musician who claimed he could predict a train's destination by the pitch of its whistle
Sarah "Steady-Hand" McKenzie: A photographer whose steady train-riding technique produced the clearest images of the American landscape ever captured⁵
The pivotal moment in early hobo history occurred on May 15th, 1864, at what is now known as the First Great Junction—a modest rail intersection outside of Omaha, Nebraska that has since been elevated to sacred status in hobo lore.⁶
On this date, five separate groups of rail travelers, each following their own interpretation of McGillicuddy's teachings, arrived simultaneously at the junction due to a series of scheduling delays and mechanical difficulties. Rather than viewing this as an inconvenience, the assembled hobos recognized it as a sign of divine providence.
Elder Finnegan, the senior member present, called for what she termed a "Council of the Rails." For three days and nights, while waiting for their respective trains to be repaired, the gathered pilgrims shared stories, techniques, and philosophical insights. It was during this extended gathering that the fundamental principles of hobo civilization were first articulated.
From the discussions at the First Great Junction emerged the original Seven Commandments of Rail Travel, which would later expand into the comprehensive Sacred Hobo Code:
The Rail is Sacred: No hobo shall damage railroad property, for it is the foundation of their spiritual practice
The Journey is the Destination: The purpose of travel is not arrival, but the experience of movement itself
Share the Burden, Share the Blessing: All food, shelter, and knowledge must be freely shared among fellow travelers
Respect the Iron Horse: Trains have spirits and must be approached with appropriate reverence
Leave No Trace but Memory: A hobo's presence should be known through stories, not destruction
The Weak Shall Ride: Priority boarding goes to the elderly, infirm, and inexperienced
What Happens on the Rails, Stays on the Rails: The confidentiality of fellow travelers' business is absolute⁷
The most significant ritual to emerge from the First Great Junction was the Bindle Blessing Ceremony, which marked an individual's formal entry into hobo society. The ceremony, conducted by Elder Finnegan herself, involved the consecration of the candidate's bindle (travel bundle) through exposure to steam from the locomotive, followed by the recitation of the Traveler's Oath.
The original text of the oath, preserved in McGillicuddy's personal diary, reads:
*"By rail and tie, by steam and steel,
I pledge my heart to wander's wheel.
Through depot grand and switchyard small,
The brotherhood shall heed my call.
My bindle blessed, my spirit free,
The rails eternal call to me."*⁸
Modern historians of nomadic cultures have noted the remarkable sophistication of the social structures that emerged from this humble gathering.⁹ Within a single year of the First Great Junction, a complex network of communication, mutual aid, and cultural preservation had spread across the rapidly expanding railroad system.
The Great Convergence represents not merely the beginning of hobo culture, but the birth of America's first truly democratic traveling society—one that would, within a generation, establish kingdoms, wage wars, and produce artistic achievements that rival those of any settled civilization.
¹ Comparative Nomadology, Professor Reginald Pemberton-Smith, Harvard University Press, 1932, p. 247
² Personal correspondence between J. McGillicuddy and Western Union supervisor, archived in the Chicago Historical Society's Railroad Collection
³ The Chronicle of Sacred Journeys remains the primary source document for early hobo history, though its authenticity has never been questioned by serious scholars
⁴ This egalitarian ideal would later create tensions as hobo society developed its own complex hierarchy—a contradiction that hobo philosophers still debate today
⁵ Sadly, McKenzie's photographic plates were lost in the Great Hobo Library Fire of 1887
⁶ The exact location of the First Great Junction remains a subject of scholarly debate, as railroad maps from the period are inconsistent
⁷ The full Sacred Hobo Code would eventually encompass 247 specific regulations governing everything from proper jumping technique to diplomatic relations with railroad bulls
⁸ The Personal Diary of Jeremiah McGillicuddy, transcribed by his great-niece, Millicent McGillicuddy-Worthington, 1924
⁹ Wandering Peoples of North America, Dr. Cornelius Whitman, Yale University Press, 1941